Due to the excessive use of the right to sue people, I must include this paragraph. I, Ted Parkman, fully understand that Pioneer Entertainment or some other company wise enough to support anime owns all characters mentioned in the following story. Tenchi Masaki, etc. are all fictitious anime characters owned by Pioneer or their respective companies. I will use these characters in this story for entertainment purposes only. I have no intention of making a profit from this fan fiction. Arigatô.
Tenchi Muyo! Universe episode # 42
"No need for romance"
(It's unquestionably beautiful.)
PREVIOUSLY ON TENCHI UNIVERSE:
(Tenchi speaking):
"Hey there, it's me, Tenchi! It's been quite some time now and barely anything's changed. The girls are still out to get me; at least Ryoko and Aeka are. Why, the other day, Ryoko tried to pull off that stunt she did in the cave long ago. Again! (Sigh), I guess I'll never get peace and quiet. I envy my dad and grandpa. They don't have to worry about half-a-dozen gorgeous women chasing after them. What is it about me that causes them to be so competitive with one another? I should probably just pick one and end the whole ordeal. Hmmm…Iie, it would be a whole lot worse if I did. Anyhow, my grades at school are not doing well. How can I get any homework done when Ryoko phase-shifts into my room whenever she wants and Aeka is always bothering me whenever she sees me? I don't know how much longer I can put up with all this. I fear that eventually, one of the girls is going to get the best of me. St-"
(Author's note: "*cough -Foreshadowing! - cough*. Ahem, excuse me.")
"Err. As I was saying, stay tuned for a somewhat decent episode of Tenchi Universe!"
Another sunny morning at the Masaki residence! The sky has several large, fluffy clouds and the birds sing happily. However, all is not well inside the Masaki house. Today happens to be Saturday, meaning no school for Tenchi or any work for Noboyuki to go to. Tenchi, taking a deep breath, prepares to open his bedroom door. From experience, he knows that on weekends Aeka and Ryoko are very anxious to get his attention. Now they usually go as far as to bother him the moment he leaves his room. Bracing himself, Tenchi opens the door.
"Meow!" says Ryo-ohki happily, looking up at him.
"Oh, good morning Ryo-ohki," says Tenchi, exhaling in relief. "How are you?"
"TENCHI!" scream Aeka and Ryoko with much enthusiasm. Tenchi looks up to see the two racing towards him. Immediately Ryoko tries to tackle him, while Aeka grabs Ryoko by the hair, preventing her from getting at Tenchi. The two lose their balance and end up sprawled in the doorway. Ryo-ohki meows at them angrily, leaping over the railing and to the first floor. Tenchi quickly steps over the two before they can get up and start fighting. As he heads for the stairs, he can hear Ryoko taunting Aeka. After a couple of seconds, there is a loud bang and Aeka, her clothing singed, goes flying over the railing and rolls down the stairs. Tenchi sighs and helps her to her feet, and then heads for the kitchen.
Everyone else is positioned around the dining room table, while Sasami hands each of them a plate of various types of sushi. Ryoko phase-shifts to a side of the table, and Aeka walks over to her own spot, grimacing. Soon, everyone is eating. Ryo-ohki chews on a carrot, resting on Sasami's shoulder. Mihoshi is already on her second plate, while everyone else eats at a steady pace.
"Well, Tenchi," says Yosho. "It's the weekend. What do you plan on doing today?"
"I want to go to the movies!" says Sasami.
"Mrrow!" agrees Ryo-ohki.
"That would be nice," adds Aeka.
"Can't go, busy," mumbles Washu, her mouth full.
"I can't think of any movies we could all see," says Tenchi finally.
Ryoko looks up from her plate, "Then how about you and I go see a movie. Alone. Come on, what do you think?" She smiles at him, winking an amber eye.
Tenchi smiles back uncomfortably while Aeka retorts pompously, "In your dreams, Miss Ryoko! If there is anyone who should go see a movie with Tenchi it is I!"
"Then I guess no one can see a movie with him, your highness!" replies Ryoko, her voice full of sarcasm.
Yosho sighs and intervenes, "I think we should all go see Way of the Samurai. I am quite interested in that film."
Noboyuki suddenly speaks up excitedly, "I want to see Female Fighters Deluxe!"
Kione opens her mouth, but is interrupted by her cell phone. Sighing, she picks it up, "Kione hear…hello chief…uh huh…right…no problem…sure…we're on our way now!" She grabs Mihoshi and the two head for their ship, parked over the lake.
Amidst the noise of the Yugami's engines, Tenchi says, "I suppose we could all see the newest of the NGE movies, Neo Genesis." Ryoko's face brightens, "Isn't that the series with huge monsters and a character who sort of resembles you, Tenchi?" Tenchi thinks about it for a moment and then replies, "I don't know if Shinji Ikari looks like me, but this movie is supposed to take place after End of Evangelion. I'm wondering how the director has managed to make another movie after what happened in the last one." "Very well, Tenchi. We will head for town shortly," says Yosho, finishing his meal. Ryo-ohki meows happily and starts chewing her eighth carrot.
Kione and Mihoshi are seated in the cockpit of Yugami. The asteroid belt looms in front of the viewport. "Now remember, Mihoshi. Chief told us that Nagi is in the area, possibly hiding on one of Jupiter's moons. Supposedly she acquired some expensive weaponry from a nearby cargo ship, without permission. The scoundrel. Oh, and Mihoshi," she says, giving her partner a stern look, "try not to screw up this time. I know I've said this before, but not long ago we were in the top class! Then we got demoted back to our old jobs." She sighs and returns her focus to the Yugami's controls.
Mihoshi looks at the hundreds of dark objects drifting in space. "Ooh. I don't like this, Kione!" she replies, eyeing the asteroid belt with discomfort. Suddenly, a red light blinks on one of the screens in front of them.
"Got her!" exclaims Kione. She boosts power to Yugami's engines and heads towards the moon of Triton.
"Careful, Kione!" whines Mihoshi. "Those asteroids look scary!"
Kione scowls at her, "Shut up, will you! I don't have time for your whining!"
Alarms suddenly sound, and the two look forward to see a huge asteroid rolling towards them. Mihoshi screams as Kione does an emergency maneuver, lifting the Yugami up over the asteroid and then maneuvering through the field it came from. Collision warnings sound as another asteroid swoops in from starboard.
"Damn!" exclaims Kione as she does another wild maneuver. After several seconds, with Mihoshi screaming louder than the warning sirens, the Yugami is clear of the asteroid belt. The two exhale, Kione wiping sweat from her brow. All of a sudden, Nagi's ship can be seen, heading straight for them. "Ready the cannons, Mihoshi!"
Mihoshi whines and searches desperately for the weapons controls.
"Mihoshi! Hurry up!"
BANG! Yugami receives a volley of energy darts from the bounty hunter's ship. She shakes violently as Ken-ohki flies past them. Warning signs flash on several screens, and Kione whips the Yugami around, searching for Nagi. A white, spiked object can be seen in the distance.
"There you are, you bitch," grumbles Kione as she slams her fist down on the firing button. Nothing happens. "What!? Mihoshi, what did you do?"
"Nothing! I swear!" Mihoshi starts crying.
Kione puts her hand to her face in frustration. "Must be from the damage we received." Another explosion rocks the Yugami, and the engines die out. Kione looks at her partner, a worried expression on her face.
"We're dead," moans Mihoshi, tears streaming down her cheeks.
Tenchi and the others arrive at the nearby town, having walked the whole way.
"There should be a subway nearby," says Yosho, looking around. Everyone but he and Ryo-ohki looks thoroughly exhausted. Sure enough, a station is not too far away. Everyone climbs down the stairs and waits for the next ride. After a couple of minutes, they are on a subway, heading for the mall.
They get off near the local cinema, and walk to the entrance. Ryoko immediately grabs Ryo-ohki and hides her in her very thick hair.
Tenchi says to the woman behind the glass window, "Six for Neo Genesis please."
"That'll be 3300 yen, sir."
"Here," says Ryoko, handing Tenchi the amount.
"Where did you get this, Ryoko?" inquires Tenchi, looking at her, puzzled. Ryoko quickly glances at Noboyuki, who is holding his wallet open. She then returns her gaze to Tenchi, smiling innocently.
"Hey!" Noboyuki yells, pointing a finger at Ryoko. "Give that back!" Ryoko looks daggers at Noboyuki, and he quiets down.
"Well? Are you going to pay or not?" says the cashier impatiently. Tenchi hands her the yen, and collects the six tickets. Giving one to each person, he opens the door to let everyone inside.
Trailing after the rest of the group, Ryoko puts her arm around Tenchi. "Such a gentleman," she says. Tenchi squirms and she lets go, following the others into the theatre. After an eternity of deciding what snacks to get, the gang goes into the appropriate room. The previews are already starting. As expected, the theatre room is packed with avid NGE fans. Surprisingly, they all manage to find a row to themselves, though it is just a couple back from the front row. Tenchi sits down; Ryoko and Aeka sit on either side of him. Ryo-ohki clambers down from her hiding place in Ryoko's hair and sits on her lap, staring at the huge movie screen in awe.
The previews are currently showing Pokémon the 4th movie, with only a couple people in the audience clapping, while others yawn. The previews next show an adult woman with rosy-pink hair, wearing a form fitting blue and red uniform. She is wielding a rapier and battling some weird mutant woman. As the screen plays the words "Cutey Honey Uncut! The Movie." in big flashing letters, many boys in the theatre cheer and clap. Aeka looks around in disgust.
The previews stop and everyone falls quiet. After a couple of seconds of darkness, the movie begins. A mournful sounding orchestra fills the theatre as the words (in Kanji, of course) "Pioneer Home Entertainment…in association with TV Tokyo present…" appear on the screen. It seems as if everyone in the theatre is holding his or her breath. "NEO GENESIS" is displayed on the screen, and both the soundtrack and the audience get excited. The words dissolve, to be replaced by a scene showing space, with many stars, nebulae, etc. The scene zooms in on one certain part of the screen, and focuses on what looks like Saturn. The camera begins to zoom past Saturn, then Jupiter, then through the belt, past Mars, and finally slows on a planet redder than Mars is. It is Earth, or what's left of it. Completely covered with the blood of trillions of once-living beings, Earth seems very dead and quiet. Some text plays across the lower part of the screen: "Earth-October 27th, 2000." The audience watches the planet, which is not rotating and contains no clouds, when a huge white comet shoots straight towards Earth. The audience jumps in surprise as the white streak careens into the side of the planet, sending ripples of bloody water across the surface. Parts of the earth crack and lava spills out, adding more destruction to the seemingly dead planet. The planet's gravity pulls the cracks shut after a couple of seconds, but the area of impact is now a huge crater. The earth rumbles as shockwaves course through it. The camera zooms in on one part of the earth. The audience sees a beach, with two figures unconscious on the bloody sand. From somewhere off screen, a twister-like cloud picks up the two, raising them high into the air, away from the destructive spasms of the earth. As the camera follows the two figures, the ground below seems to be losing its red color. The bloody layer becomes separated patches, and then finally disappears into the earth's crust. The now brownish sphere starts to get covered by water, which seems to be originating at the impact point. Soon, a lake becomes an ocean, and three-fourths of the earth is submerged. The landmasses look very different. The powerful earthquakes must have reshaped the surface of the earth. Suddenly, numerous white shapes, small and wispy, spill out of the crater. They encircle the earth, and then fly into it. A couple of seconds pass, and the brown landmasses start to show hints of vegetation. The twister-like cloud connects with the earth's surface, setting the two humans back on the ground. Text plays across the screen. "New Earth-November 1st, 2000." The screen darkens, and then shows land, the point of view about five feet above the ground. Mountains can be seen in the distance, and a blue sky meets the green earth at the horizon. Someone from behind the camera moans. The view turns around to reveal Asuka, rubbing her eyes as if waking up from a deep sleep. She looks at the camera and says, "You okay, Shinji?" The camera zooms out a little to show Shinji and Asuka standing on a grassy plain. Shinji nods, slowly, still taking in everything around him.
"We…we're alive!" he says at last. Asuka nods, then gasps and points at something behind Shinji. "What?" He turns around, to see a glowing teenager, about their age, wrapped in pure white robes, energy radiating from his head.
"Welcome to New Eden. Do not be afraid, for I have been sent here to help you."
Shinji stares at the gray-haired boy, disbelieving. "Kaoru?"
The boy looks up at Shinji, his face smiling slightly.
Mihoshi awakens to find herself suspended in a large energy sphere. Kione is nearby, similarly restrained but unconscious. "Kione! Wake up!" yells Mihoshi. Kione doesn't respond. Mihoshi hears laughter to her left. She turns her head and sees Nagi, the infamous bounty hunter, looking at her, her eyes full of malice. Mihoshi immediately becomes authority-like. "Under Galaxy Police article…something or other! I hereby put you under arrest for having a long and atrocious criminal record!"
"Oh, shut your trap you incompetent crybaby," snaps Nagi. Mihoshi loses her confidence and just stares at her, tears gathering in her eyes.
"Now, you're only useful to me as hostages," continues Nagi. She touches a floating crystal nearby, activating a screen that appears up above her, set into the large dome of the spaceship. "Ken-ohki! Put me through to Galaxy Police Headquarters!" After a moment, a man appears on the screen.
"Nagi! What is the meaning of this you…you…"
"I am contacting you to let you know what has happened to two of your precious Galaxy Police personnel." She waves a gun in Mihoshi's direction.
"What do you want, Nagi."
"I am putting them up for ransom. Either give me the amount I tell you, or they will be killed quickly and thoroughly."
The man glances at Mihoshi for only a second. "Is this some kind of joke, Nagi? Why should we care about those two?"
"What!?"
"You heard me. You have no options. I find it funny you think those two are important enough to work as hostages for you. We wouldn't deal with the likes of you anyway. Hah!" The image disappears.
Nagi, completely dumbfounded, soon gathers her senses and glares at Mihoshi. She raises her gun arm. Before Mihoshi can even scream, Nagi pulls the trigger.
As Neo Genesis continues (Shinji and Asuka are currently arguing about something), Tenchi is reminded of the many times he's gotten mad at the girls. One memory stands out vividly in his mind: the most recent time he scolded Ryoko. Just like the first time when they were in Washu's cave, Ryoko had tried to "seduce" him, using her manipulation of energy to all but paralyze him. Luckily, it was a temporary effect, and Tenchi had managed to escape before his virginity was in danger. Before that uncomfortable event (it was so de ja vu to him), Tenchi had taken notice of how…for the lack of a better word, shitty Ryoko's attitude had been. Tenchi really felt sorry for any of the girls when he found himself yelling at them. But what am I to do? I can't simply tolerate Ryoko's harassments, or Aeka's pleadings. If they were to get any idea of how close I am to giving in, they might try…no, they would try even harder! Especially Ryoko. She might even think that any lack in resistance from me would indicate that I…that I…why do I have to put up with these women! I always end up hurting their feelings when I refuse their advances. Damn it this sucks! I don't want to hurt them! I really don't! But I can't be too nice to them, otherwise…sheesh, this really sucks. Now Ryoko is very depressed because of me. Aeka has not even tried anymore. Mihoshi…I'm not sure what she's thinking. Sasami is acting okay. I guess she's too young to worry about this kind of stuff. Washu? Shudder. What about Kione? Has she been trying. I hope not. It's my entire fault. But I don't know what they're thinking! Tenchi glances first at Aeka, who seems to be very into the movie, and then looks at Ryoko. For a moment, all he sees is a roguish beauty who is watching the movie like a skilled fighter, waiting for the next surprise in tense determination. But then he sees, just barely, a flicker of sorrow in her amber eyes. The movie is currently showing Shinji and Asuka being…friendly. In the next instant, any signs of sadness disappear, and only the cold, confident Ryoko remains. Tenchi doesn't take his eyes off her, stunned by the brief flash of sorrow on Ryoko's face. Ryoko? The most dangerous criminal in the universe is actually feeling sad? Is she really depressed? Does she truly care about me? Or is it just the movie? He glances at the screen for a moment, noticing that Asuka and Shinji are embracing each other strongly. He returns his gaze to Ryoko's face. I just can't tell!
Ryoko suddenly looks at Tenchi, obviously noticing that he's looking right at her. For a split second, they stare at each other. Tenchi feels a wave of despair and yearning pouring out of her large, amber eyes.
Tenchi!
But in the next instant Tenchi slams back to the real world. He jumps in shock, and then quickly directs his attention back to the movie, swallowing nervously. From the corner of his eye, Tenchi can see Ryoko's facial expression brighten significantly. Oh shit. I was afraid this would happen! No doubt as to what she's thinking.
Ryoko stares at Tenchi's suddenly nervous, sweating face. His eyes are trying not to look at her and instead are trying to focus on the movie. Am I dreaming here? Or did Tenchi actually look at me with…curiosity? Is this his way of flirting? This is…fantastic! Knowing that flinging herself on him and making love right there would seem a little…rude to the audience, Ryoko merely moves an arm under the armrest between Tenchi and herself. She takes hold of Tenchi's shaking hands and squeezes lovingly.
Tenchi is meanwhile going into a panic. Crap! Crap! Crap! This is terrible! Why did I look at her? Why? Now she thinks I love her! This is not good. What will the others think? No! I can't let her do this! He jerks his hands out of Ryoko's, breathing quickly and nervously. Ryoko gasps. Ryo-ohki, still seated on Ryoko's lap, fluffs up in alarm and hisses at Ryoko. The next second Ryo-ohki calms down, looking sheepishly up at Ryoko. Ryoko takes no notice. She is currently glaring at Tenchi.
Why must he play these games with me? Can't he see I'm being serious here?
Tenchi is feeling extremely uncomfortable. Ryoko is definitely mad at him, and he's too afraid to apologize. He suddenly jumps up from his seat and walks towards the aisle, as if he needs to use the restroom. Ryoko watches him leave, feeling more depressed than ever.
The gang leaves the theatre about an hour later, discussing the movie excitedly.
"I liked the part where humans from another planet landed on the new Earth. Their spaceships looked very Jurain," says Aeka.
"That's nothing compared to the fight between those humans and the evil monsters!" exclaims Ryoko, then acting on instinct looks to her left and catches Tenchi's gaze. She frowns at him. Tenchi looks away shamefully.
"They did a pretty good job with that movie," comments Yosho.
"It's amazing how much it resembles the book of Deuteronomy from the Christian Bible," says Noboyuki. "Or was it the book of Genesis?"
Ryo-ohki looks a little hyper. Sasami sighs, "Why did they have to include that scene with the big garden? Ryo-ohki couldn't calm down after seeing all those carrots and other vegetables."
It's noontime at the Masaki residence. Everyone is seated at the table, eating another excellent meal care of Sasami. Noboyuki, while marveling at all the women sitting around him, begins to load up his plate. Yosho, as usual, sips a cup of tea in silence, probably meditating with the herbal mixture. Tenchi starts eating as much as he can, thanking Sasami for yet another perfect meal. Mihoshi and Kione are nowhere to be seen. Ryo-ohki munches on several carrots, purring loudly. Aeka eats in silence, perfectly mimicking her relative, Yosho. Ryoko has her face inches from the plate, scooping up huge amounts of raw fish and rice, making sure the plate is blocking her face from Tenchi's view. Sasami wears her cute smile as usual, blushing at the compliments, though she realizes she's been receiving less and less each day. Must be the fact that she's been making them sushi for quite a while. Washu eats her meal with one hand and types madly on a floating laptop-like device with the other. The screen changes from geometric shapes to infinitely long equations.
Tenchi, suddenly stopping and patting his belly, says to Sasami, "Er, Sasami? You know it's been weeks and we're still eating sushi for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I was wondering if you wouldn't mind fixing something new. Not that I don't like sushi! All your meals taste great! But, if it isn't too much trouble…" He stops, expecting a reprimand from his father.
Noboyuki does open his mouth to protest, "Tenchi Masaki! You know how rude it is to complain about a woman's cooking! Apologize to Sasami this instant!"
Tenchi's smile falters, hoping he didn't hurt Sasami's feelings. But Sasami merely smiles at him with one of her cutest smiles.
"Why sure, Tenchi! I've been getting interested in what you call Mexican food. I'll try that for tomorrow's meals, okay?" She giggles and Tenchi nods, a little bothered by her incessant cuteness.
Ryoko stretches and yawns loudly. "Ah! I'm so full! I think I need to take a nap. Later." She sighs, though barely, and suddenly phase-shifts over to Tenchi, squeezing him. "Care to join me, Tenchi?" He shakes his head no, as she had expected, so Ryoko simply winks at him and phase-shifts away. Tenchi's face begins to redden and Aeka, looking up from her plate, frowns.
"Must I keep telling you, Lord Tenchi? Stay away from that rogue! She is nothing but trouble."
Tenchi sighs, "I know…I know."
Tenchi begins his chores, grabbing a broom and walking off to the front porch. Aeka and Sasami go off to pick fresh flowers for the various vases in the house, with Ryo-ohki trailing after the two. Washu disappears to her lab. Noboyuki plops down on the living room couch and takes a nap. Yosho walks off to the Masaki shrine. In her room, Ryoko is staring out the window, in deep thought.
Damn! She thinks to herself. Yet another refusal on Tenchi's part! I thought I was close this time! She sighs and looks out at the shimmering lake. How many months has it been now? How many is it gonna take? Doesn't Tenchi realize I love him more than anything? Why must he keep this up? She frowns and punches the windowsill viciously. Every time he yells at me, frowns, or says no, I feel worse and worse. What I would give to just cry in his arms right now, knowing that he would comfort me. But no! Tenchi keeps avoiding me and is unknowingly ruining my life, my happiness, and my soul. She pouts and rests her face in folded arms, stills staring at the lake, the shimmering surface reflecting in her amber eyes. Is there at all a way I could get Tenchi to realize how depressed I am? There must be. If I cannot get him to love me, I will surely die from sorrow. Sorrow beyond describing. She phase-shifts to her bed, looking up at the ceiling. I have spent too many months trying to show Tenchi that I love him. Flirting obviously does not work. Neither does blackmail, nor threatening him. I've even tried tricking him and catching him by surprise. But nothing seems to work! He probably doesn't think I'm doing this all out of love. He must think that I'm some sort of heartless thing that's just messing around with him! She makes a noise of disgust. I need to convince him that my motives are true. That I really do love him. But how? What method haven't I already tried? She begins playing memories of Tenchi in her head. "Ryoko! Leave me alone!" and "I really don't like this Ryoko!" and "Stop it, Ryoko!" Suddenly something inside her head clicks. Of course! He feels I am being mean to him! Then the only way to show him I love him is to be nice to him! She covers her face with one hand and moans "Why didn't I think of this sooner!" Immediately she phase-shifts downstairs.
Part 2
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