Due to the excessive use of the right to sue people, I must include this paragraph. I, Ted Parkman, fully understand that all characters mentioned in the following story are owned by Pioneer Entertainment. Tenchi Masaki, etc. are all fictitious anime characters owned by Pioneer that I will use in this story for entertainment purposes only. I have no intention of making a profit from this fan fiction. Arigatô.

Tenchi Muyo! Universe episode # 43


“No need for bedbuddies!”
(It’s unquestionably ecchi.)
PREVIOUSLY ON TENCHI UNIVERSE:
(Aeka speaking):
“Ryoko has gone too far this time! She put Lord Tenchi under some sort of strange hypnotism, and now Ryoko is all he thinks about! What about me? I have to find a way to help Lord Tenchi overcome his brainwashing and make him know that I am there for him, always. This is not only for his sake, but also for the sake of Jurai! I cannot allow Tenchi to be seduced by a horrible criminal. He is Jurai’s future! He is the only one I have ever loved! Does he not realize that? This is simply outrageous. No, this is serious. I must do something! (Sigh), don’t miss this vital episode of Tenchi Universe.”
Commercial Break
Now Back to Tenchi Universe

It’s morning at the Masaki residence. The sun has just barely cleared the treetops. Sasami is cooking breakfast; today’s meals are to be attempts at Mexican food. Everyone else is waking up to the peculiar aromas rising from the kitchen. Yosho’s face looks more solemn than ever. He knows that today’s meals will all be a tough battle for his digestive system. All the other characters have never tried Mexican food before as well. Noboyuki wakes up in a panic, believing the unidentified smells mean the house is burning down. He races down to the kitchen, only to find Sasami frying what looks to him like thin, white pancakes, Ryo-ohki sitting on her shoulder. He then heads back upstairs, still a little disoriented. Washu, after a couple commands on her keypad, is told by it that the smells represent enchiladas and various other foods of the Mexican culture. Then, out of mad curiosity, she begins researching the subatomic particles of an enchilada, her fingers typing away madly on the floating keypad. Aeka awakes with a start, wrinkling her nose at the, to her, ungodly stench. Ryoko wakes up and, upon taking a whiff of the smells emanating from the kitchen, is immediately reminded of the smell of fried Nibelwanian cockroach, but does not get out of bed. Tenchi gets up and, half awake, heads for the only non-extra dimensional bathroom. Soon, everyone except for Ryoko, Kione, and Mihoshi is positioned around the dining room table. Sasami places the steaming hot plates on the table.
There is silence.
“Umm, Sasami? What is this stuff?” inquires Noboyuki, poking at a quesadilla, recoiling when it oozes out melted cheese, bits of meat, and vegetables. Sasami smiles, blushing shyly, and says, “First time I get to make…what’s it called again Oh yeah! Mexcian food!”
“That’s Mexican food, Sasami,” corrects Tenchi.
Ryo-ohki looks up at Sasami with a frown, her meow sounding as if she were saying “No duh, stupid.”
Tenchi says, “It’s supposed to be pretty tasty, but only if you can handle spicy stuff.” He grabs an enchilada and, demonstrating to the reluctant people around him, simply takes a bite. He swallows, smiling at everyone. “See, I guess they aren’t that bad.” All of a sudden, Tenchi’s face turns dark blue, and he collapses onto his plate.
“Oh my! Lord Tenchi!” screams Aeka, getting up from her place and rushing over to him.
Sasami looks at them, apologetically.
“I forgot to tell you,” she begins, “that Washu helped cook the enchiladas.” Everyone stares at the mad scientist in shock. Washu looks up from her keypad, frowning.
“Are you saying I’m a bad cook?” She presses a button on her keypad, and Sasami becomes a cute little water sprite. She then returns her attention to the cross-section of a nuclear bomb that’s spinning on her keypad’s screen. Meanwhile, Aeka is trying to do the Heimlich maneuver, Tenchi’s head rolling as she thrusts herself against his back repeatedly. She would certainly be enjoying this if it weren’t for the fact that Tenchi is in trouble. Washu looks up from her keypad and meal, chuckling at Aeka’s attempts to save him.
“Oh please, Aeka. How about letting a pro show you how it’s done.” She walks over and, grabbing Tenchi rather close to his belt area, lies him down on the ground. “Being the greatest scientific genius in the universe, I certainly know CPR.” She smiles mischievously as she lowers her head to Tenchi’s face. Aeka, guessing what Washu is about to do, yells in alarm and does a dive tackle. She shoves Washu off of Tenchi and accidentally slams her legs on Tenchi’s chest. All of a sudden, a fountain of bluish-green liquid spouts from Tenchi’s mouth, the odd color of his face disappearing. While Aeka and Washu go sliding into the front door, both pulling each other’s hair, Tenchi moans and wipes the weird liquid from his face. It smells like an awful cross between chlorine and bubble gum. Everyone, except Aeka and Washu (who seem anxious for a fight), stares at Tenchi. He glares at Washu, while the genius suddenly turns Aeka into a tadpole using her keypad.
Breakfast is over quickly. Everyone has lost his or her appetite from the incident and Washu is right now tormenting Aeka the tadpole. Trying to stifle a smile, Washu is pretending she has no idea how to turn poor Aeka back into her quite sexy body (Author’s note: “Now listen up. Despite all that’s happened to Aeka in this story, I still consider her to be a nice character. Though her beauty is not that of Ryoko’s she’s still pretty hot. Sorry Ryoko, but Aeka deserves a little praise too.”).
Tenchi decides to pay a visit to the Masaki shrine outside; he had forgotten to the day before because of Ryoko. While at the shrine, his mind wanders back to yesterday. He and Ryoko had spent hours doing nothing but talking and looking at the lake together, shoulder-to-shoulder.
During those lovely hours, he had seen Ryoko in a different light, and no it wasn’t because of the nice sunset. Instead, he realized that she isn’t a heartless pirate after all. She has feelings and loves him more than anything else in the universe. Now, he could say he loves her and really mean it.
He wants to spend the rest of his life with her, but twice Aeka had interrupted their evening at the lake. The first time was when he was asleep on Ryoko’s shoulder. The second time occurred not long after. Tenchi is definitely beginning to like Aeka less and less, but he knows that angering her would be a bad idea.
I am such a pathetic coward, he thinks disapprovingly to himself. Here I was, about to tell Ryoko I loved her too, when Aeka comes along again. She hadn’t even given Ryoko and me the rest of the evening! And what did I do when she began to suspect that I love Ryoko? I ran off! He makes a noise of rage and puts both hands on the shrine’s headstone, slamming his forehead against it.
“Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!” He says “stupid” for each consecutive contact of cranium and stone. He backs away and massages his forehead, trying to get a grip of himself. “Well this is just great, isn’t it Tenchi? Ryoko’s feelings are hurt, and I’m scared of apologizing because Aeka might go berserk! Poor Ryoko, she’s been in her room since last evening. I hope she’s okay.” He stops paying respects to the shrine and stares at absolutely nothing. A couple of hours before Aeka had discovered them, Ryoko had spilled out her heart to Tenchi and then had cried uncontrollably on his shoulder. But had she really been serious? He slaps himself. “What the hell am I thinking? Shame on you, Tenchi Masaki! Of course she was serious! Ryoko doesn’t cry often, but she was really crying that time!” Tenchi leaves the shrine and heads for the house. What was I scared of? Am I so worried about Aeka getting upset? Would she really go crazy if I told her that I love Ryoko? Would she be heartbroken or really mad? Or both? Would she try to kill Ryoko and me? Tenchi’s mind goes far back to the time he was on Ryoko’s original spaceship, the true Ryo-ohki. He remembers the dizzying image of Earth rushing up to meet them after Aeka, with fits of laughter, slammed her spaceship into Ryoko’s, all because she believed Tenchi had been seduced by a terrible space pirate.
“We will all die together!” Aeka’s message replays in his head. The original Ryo-ohki and the Ryu-oh had crashed into each other, plummeted towards Earth, both slamming into the Masaki lake far below. Tenchi shudders at the memory of experiencing a freefall from Earth’s outer atmosphere down to Japan.
She would! She would try to kill Ryoko and me! Aeka, why do you have to be so…thinking what you do is always right? He enters the house and, out of consideration, grabs some Mexican food, avoiding the enchiladas. Washu takes no notice of his appearance. She is busy changing Aeka into several forms of maggots.
“My how lovely you look, your highness! Waahahahaha!” Washu pushes various buttons on her little keypad in rapid succession, a crazy look in her eyes.
Aeka suddenly turns into a cabbage. Washu stares at the vegetable, shocked. “Oops, I wonder how that happened. Heeheehee!” Aeka quivers in fright.
With various entrees piled on a tray, Tenchi walks upstairs, stopping in front of Ryoko’s room. I wonder if Ryoko has any appetite. Also, I hope she has some ideas on how to prevent Aeka from going postal. In a non-violent way, that is.
Ryoko is dwelling on the events that took place yesterday when there is a knock on her door. It better be him! She floats over to the door and opens it, preparing to viciously murder the person bothering her if it isn’t in fact Tenchi. For a moment, she cannot believe her eyes, the energy sphere in her hand disappearing back into her. “T…Tenchi!” She feels like she won the lottery, no, even better. She feels like he’s just proposed to her.
Tenchi says to her, “Ryoko, I need to talk to you about-”
“Now just one minute!” she suddenly says angrily, her big amber eyes scowling at him. Tenchi is taken aback. She starts to hover in front of him, looking down at him like a judge about to sentence him to death. “Tenchi, why didn’t you come see me after Aeka scared you off? You left so rudely!”
“Errr, umm, well I,” he mumbles as he starts to sweat nervously. He backs a couple of inches away, almost bumping into the guardrail behind him.
“You know, I’ve been thinking while you were enjoying your dinner and then your breakfast without ever checking on me earlier!” She approaches him and jabs a finger at him, her eyes blazing. “I’m starting to see a pattern here. You hurt me, then try to apologize, then hurt me again!” She folds her arms in her bitter mood, her eyes starting to water.
From downstairs, Washu is toying with Aeka. Now, she’s become a duck.
Tenchi is deeply offended by hearing Ryoko yell at him like this, accusing him of abusing her. “No! It’s not like that, okay? I really am sorry for everything I’ve done! I never ever want to hurt you again! I never did to begin with! Please believe me! Forgive me!” He backs away, his face a mixture of desperation and panic. “Please!” He stares at her in shock, realizing that he is starting to cry. He suddenly imagines an enormous, stone Ryoko squashing his pathetic self like a bug. Tenchi gulps in fright.
Washu hears commotion coming from the upstairs guardrail and leaves the kitchen. She looks up to see Tenchi holding a tray of food, his back pressed against the guardrail. Ryoko is standing in her room’s doorway, glaring at him. Hmm? What are those two up to?
Ryoko’s frown leaves her face, but she says nothing. Instead, she sighs wearily and notices the food that Tenchi has brought for her. She wipes her eyes, clearing away her watery vision.
“Oh, umm, this is for you,” Tenchi says uncomfortably. He sets the tray down and starts to head to the stairs.
“Tenchi, wait!”
He turns around, trying to wipe the tears from his eyes. “Y…yes, Ryoko?”
“You’ve no idea how happy I am to see you!” she exclaims, her attitude totally changing. She grabs him by the arm and pulls him towards her. Tenchi is whisked from the walkway and through the door.
Washu is taken by complete surprise. Has my daughter finally gotten him? Damn it! She stalks off to her lab, completely ignoring Aeka. It’s not fair! I wanted Tenchi!
Aeka hasn’t taken notice of the events upstairs. She waddles after Washu, letting out a panicked “Quack!”
Ryoko slams the door behind Tenchi, who is busy trying to regain his balance. Ryoko smiles at him ecstatically. “Oh, Tenchi!” she flings her arms around him, her body pressed firmly against his.
Tenchi is thrown back against the door with a loud “Oof!” He pushes himself off of the closed door, Ryoko clinging to him like a fruit bat with some rare, delicious fruit to consume. (And no, I’m not implying that Tenchi’s a fruit, or a fag) Tenchi makes sure his lungs are okay. “Glad to see you too, Ryoko,” he says, a little uneasy, but then he relaxes into Ryoko’s embrace. For a moment, the two just stand there, savoring the contact of each other’s bodies. Ryoko moves one arm behind Tenchi and locks the door. Tenchi is oblivious to this. His mind is busy trying to make sense of his senses. First, Tenchi realizes that this is the very first time he actually enjoys being hugged like this. He stands there (actually, it’s more like his legs are not working and he’s only being supported by Ryoko’s ample torso), feeling Ryoko’s heart thumping rapidly against his chest, her warm, tender breasts pressing into him, her intoxicating aroma filling his nose and fogging his brain. After a couple of minutes of a minor paradise, Tenchi’s mind alerts him to the reason why he came to see Ryoko, but it then continues lazily lounging in the sweet sensations of his senses (nice alliteration if I do say so myself).
“Ryoko…um, my love, that is, um” starts Tenchi, barely even trying to get his mind out of the hot tub of excited senses it’s in, which it happens to be enjoying immensely.
“Oh come now, Tenchi. You can think up better nicknames for me than simply ‘my love’!”
“Huh? Did you say something?”
“Oh, what’s wrong, Tenchi? Finding it hard to concentrate?” She rubs her body up and down against him, giggling.
Tenchi gets one hell of a boner. Ryoko moans with joy and plants her mouth on his neck, biting and sucking. Tenchi’s mind starts racing blindly in ecstasy. “Um, ah, um, er, well, perhaps my lovely pirate?”
She stops giving him a hicky and says “Hmm. Better, but not the best.”
“Love of my life?” The side of his neck tingles with pain, but he likes it.
“Cut the old fashioned crap, Tenchi.”
“How about my beautiful buccaneer.”
Ryoko bursts out laughing, her body vibrating in Tenchi’s arms. “What the hell kind of name is that?!”
“Hmmm,” Tenchi says, both in thought and in pleasure. “How about my sexy swashbuckler?”
“I’m not really a pirate anymore, now am I? The sexy part is good, though.”
“Danger girl?”
“Already taken by someone.”
“Then how about…my dangerously divine?”
“Hmmm. I like it! You sure can get creative Tenchi! That’ll really help out in our relationship.”
“Umm, thanks. But I think you helped me out,” he says, noticing that she’s still rubbing fully against him with her torso, up and down…up and down.
“He heh. Well let’s see just how creative I can make you,” Ryoko says, slyly. She backs off of Tenchi and starts to pull him towards her bed.
“N-náni!?”
“You heard me, Tenchi.”
“Ga…ga…watashinai otona!”
“Oh yes you are.”
“No! I mean it! I’m too young! So are you! I think.”
“I’m impatient. So sue me.” She pulls Tenchi onto her bed, holding him down against the mattress, and she makes as if to climb on top of him.
“Ryoko! Stop!” yells Tenchi, starting to panic. Ryoko stares at him, at how scared he suddenly has gotten. Memories flood her mind, of times when Tenchi got mad at her, and she gasps.
“I, I’m sorry, Tenchi.” She lets go of him, backing off a little to sit down on the edge of the bed. She lowers her eyes to the floor. “I guess I got carried away again.” Her face starts to redden with embarrassment. She looks up to see Tenchi leaving briskly. In less than a second, he’s unlocking, then opening, then closing the door behind him. She stares at the door, disbelieving, then moans. “No…not again!” Tenchi left me! I thought this was it. I thought he really did love me! She loses control of herself and shoves her face into her pillow, trying to stifle her loud sobs. “It’s not fair!” Her body shudders with each sob. “Why do I have to suffer like this?” she yells to no one in particular. “Tenchi!” Tears start to flow rapidly down her cheeks. “Tenchi,” she moans quietly. She lies there, miserable and unmoving.
Tenchi races down the stairs and through the front door. He does not know what he is running from, he just feels he has to go somewhere else. Down the stairs leading to the lake. Along the water’s edge. Into the forest. Run. Run! Over fallen tree. Through thick brush. Run! Level ground. Slope. Hill. Don’t stop running! Hilltop. Downhill. Tree root! Ow! Stumble! Fall! “Oof!” Tenchi grunts, feeling the wind get knocked out of him. He lies there, on the ground, his heart racing. He looks behind him. What an odd-looking tree root! He gets up, dusts himself off, and walks over to examine whatever it was that tripped him. It is some sort of petrified wood, not like any of the trees around him. He picks it up, noticing the odd, solidness of it. Suddenly, he realizes what it is. Debris from the first Ryo-ohki? Yes, that’s what this is! He is amazed that something from so long ago is still around, at least partially. As if the piece of spaceship is speaking to him through telepathy, Tenchi is reminded of those good old days.
“Tenchi and I made love, and this little egg is the result of our love!” said Ryoko, talking about the egg of the new Ryo-ohki. “Tenchi and I have made a vow to live and die together!” She had exclaimed that on board the old spaceship that once possessed the very piece of wood Tenchi holds.
Ryoko certainly says my name with…passion. Yeah, that’s what it is. He holds the piece of wood up above him, with the sun shining behind it, reminding him of the intimidating size of Ryo-ohki the first in spaceship form. “That was so long ago. It feels like it was years ago.” His memories start to play in his head.
“Oh Tenchi! I’m so proud of you! You’ve finally become a man!” exclaimed Noboyuki, full of pride and joy in thinking that his son had sex with Ryoko. “Don’t be so difficult, Tenchi!” said Ryoko that one time when she tried to “seduce” him. Tenchi suddenly realizes how much he has been through. Something in his mind clicks.
Who am I fooling? I’m not a little boy anymore. He thinks about the many months that had passed since he first met a beautiful, drunken pirate who had survived a crash landing near his house. Time to grow up! Enough with all this cowardice, you moron! He looks at the piece of Ryo-ohki the first. “Thanks, Ryo-ohki. Thanks for helping me see the truth. I’m not a little boy anymore. I’m a man! It’s about time I act like one and stop being so stupid!” He sets the piece of debris down, bowing in thanks, and then races back towards the Masaki house, determined to set things right with Ryoko and apologize for all the times he had avoided, yelled at, criticized, or run away from her.

Part Two
Home