No Need For A Perfect Couple

Due to the excessive use of the right to sue people, I must include this paragraph. I, Ted Parkman, fully understand that Pioneer Entertainment or some other company wise enough to support anime owns all characters mentioned in the following story. Tenchi Masaki, etc. are all fictitious anime characters owned by Pioneer or their respective companies. I will use these characters in this story for entertainment purposes only. I have no intention of making a profit from this fan fiction. Arigatô.

Tenchi Muyo! Universe episode # 44

“No need for a perfect couple!” (It’s indisputably funny.) PREVIOUSLY ON TENCHI UNIVERSE: (Ryoko speaking): “Tenchi and I have finally gotten together. Tenchi was a little shy at first, but things quickly changed just yesterday. All it took was a little conversation, and in just twenty-four hours he’s making love to me! (Sigh), isn’t he the greatest? It turns out that Aeka’s discovered our secret and she’s really pissed off. Guess I can’t blame her, for Tenchi is one hell of a guy. Anyhow, here I am heading to the kitchen with Tenchi for lunch when all of a sudden Aeka appears. Does she still think I tricked Tenchi into falling in love with me? Or, does she think that Tenchi really does love me? Whatever the case, Aeka look’s murderous. She seems ready to whip out her Jurai power stuff! Stay tuned for another great episode featuring Tenchi and yours truly!” Commercial Break “Hello, my name’s Ted. In a matter of months, I will learn the entire Japanese language and be 100% fluent in it! Wanna know how? Simply by using my computer and a lovely CD that teaches me the whole language! Fifteen minutes of studying a day, and I’m on my way to mastering Japanese! I recommend this for anyone interested in learning Japanese! Some side effects are diarrhea, nausea, staying up late at night writing fan fiction, and an obsession of anime. Ask your doctor if this software is right for you. To order your own copy of this CD, call 1-555-JPN-ROXX” Now Back to Tenchi Universe Aeka glares up at the two who had just left Ryoko’s bedroom seconds ago. She has never been so angry in all her life. How could he? How could Lord Tenchi actually do such a sick, horrible thing? She feels an extreme hatred for that (to her) cyan-haired slut of a pirate. Intense anger courses through her blood, along with the powers of Jurai. I must teach that creature a lesson for seducing poor Tenchi! “Miss Ryoko, you, you foul creature from who knows where! I hereby sentence you to a painful death on the act of seducing Lord Tenchi!” She starts to emanate energy from her body as she taps into the power of her home planet. “Tenchi! I promise you I will save you! Have no fear, Lord Tenchi! I will help cleanse you of your sinful actions! It’s not your fault that Ryoko is so dirty, so vile! I will remove that creature from the face of the earth, and restore your innocent self Lord Tenchi. Do not worry.”
Tenchi stares at her, horrorstruck. He mumbles several cuss words in Japanese as Aeka starts to glow even brighter. From behind him, Ryoko puts her arms around his waist and lifts up off the ground with him, zooming towards an open window.
“Let’s get the hell outta here, fast!” she yells. Before Aeka can react, the two are outside, in the air, making their escape. Looking back, Tenchi and Ryoko see a humongous column of bright, white-hot energy explode from the Masaki residence, and an earth-shattering bang reaches their ears. Windows shatter and walls collapse. The entire roof bursts apart, with tiling shooting off in all directions. A toilet can be seen arcing through the air, landing in a nearby evergreen. Screams can be heard through the entire din, and soon everyone but Aeka and Washu can be seen, getting out from under all the debris. As the remaining walls start to crumble, they race out through what is left of the front door. The charred remains of the house’s walls finally collapse into dust and debris. After a couple seconds of stunned silence, shouting can be heard from the rubble. Tenchi and Ryoko land near the others and look to see what’s going on.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing, Aeka! You blew the whole place up! Look at what’s left of my laboratory! It’s all your fault!” Washu picks up her special keypad device, and pushes some buttons. Crackling noises fizzle from it, and the whole thing evaporates in a cloud of smoke. Washu stares at the area where her essential keypad used to be, and then she turns against Aeka once again. “How could you? How dare you? How…you won’t get away with this, your royal stupidness. You’ve made a grave error in messing with me.” Washu starts to glow. “Tai-ohki! Awaken!” Rumbling noises can suddenly be heard from the nearby cave. Ryo-ohki perks her ears up, looking a little agitated.
After a bit, a glow can be seen, coming from the inside of Washu’s cave. Something shoots out from the entrance, glowing a bright red, and then sets down next to Washu’s feet. The glow disappears, and in its place can be seen a Cabbit, its hair color matching Washu’s exactly. Ryo-ohki meows in surprise. Everyone else but Washu expresses his or her surprise as well. Washu looks down at Tai-ohki, “It’s been a long time, hasn’t it my friend?” She scowls at Aeka and then says, “Tai-ohki. Sic her!” pointing her finger at Aeka, and Tai-ohki hisses and leaps into the air. Its reddish hair becomes spikes as Tai-ohki morphs into a spaceship. “Allow me to introduce an old invention of mine, the sister of Ryo-ohki the first!” says Washu, an enormous shadow falling over her as the huge blood-red spaceship approaches Aeka, howling madly. All of a sudden, the huge, spiked vessel goes up higher in the air. Washu jumps back as Tai-ohki unleashes a volley of energy darts at Aeka, the ground around her erupting with debris.
After the smoke and debris settles, Aeka can be seen, unscathed. She has an energy sphere surrounding her. She lifts her arms up towards Tai-ohki and lets loose with an enormous column of energy. It shoots up towards the spaceship, and Tai-ohki barely manages to avoid its destructive power. The energy column continues to go up into the sky, scattering clouds as it does. Tai-ohki retaliates with another volley of energy darts, but Aeka is too powerful. She shrugs off the bolts with her energy shield, and then starts to mutter to herself. A strong wind gathers around her, and large pieces of debris rise up and shoot towards the spaceship. The maelstrom of house remains reaches for Tai-ohki.
Meanwhile, Tai-ohki picks off the flying objects with quick bursts of energy, diving straight towards Aeka in the process, howling angrily. Aeka loses concentration and runs for it. Tai-ohki slows down to hover a few feet above the ground, and then chases after her. Aeka turns around to face the huge spaceship. She folds her arms over her face and crouches. The energy shield around her glows intensely. Tai-ohki crashes into Aeka, and there is a large, dome-shaped explosion of blinding white light.
As everyone seeks refuge from flying rubble, Washu’s angry yell can be heard. As the dust settles once more, Washu can be seen powering up a huge energy ball, while Tai-ohki struggles to crush the princess of Jurai. Aeka doesn’t give in to the enormous spaceship’s pressure. She lets loose with a quick, blinding energy blast, and Tai-ohki goes hurtling miles into the sky, just as Washu’s energy ball collides with Aeka’s energy shield. There is a loud sonic bang as the ball collides, and Aeka’s shield dissipates as red energy leaps around it. The energy ball itself, after pressing against the shield, finally has a clear path to Aeka. It slams into her, and a cone of reddish energy expands from the point of impact, going around Aeka and plowing through the forest behind her. Aeka goes flying into the air, screaming while smoke trails from her robes, the air filled with the noise of exploding tree trunks.
In a city about five miles from the remains of the Masaki house, a young man is sitting on a bench, typing away on a laptop. Right now it’s his short lunch break, but he dare’s not stop working. A distant rumble reaches his ears, and he looks up, expecting a storm cloud, but instead sees first a wave of tree trunks flying into the air in the distance, and then he sees what is causing the destruction. “Shimóta!” he yells in terror. He leaps up from the bench, closing his laptop and running for all his life. Behind him, a large cone of red light approaches rapidly. In seconds, it covers the mile between it and the man, taking him and one-tenth of the city with it. Skyscrapers topple. Automobiles are disintegrated on the spot. Several important buildings, which will not be mentioned, are hit full on by the energy blast. Entire corporations dissolve in milliseconds.
Back at the Masaki place, everyone stares at Washu, except Aeka, who is lying on the ground, her body aching all over. Washu is equally astonished at all the destruction. “Oops, a bit too powerful that one was,” she says sheepishly.
Ryoko, wanting in on the action, turns to look at Tenchi. “I’ll put a stop to this!”
Tenchi turns to her, yelling, “Don’t!” But Ryoko has already phase-shifted.
Tenchi looks at the powerful princess lying on the ground, his mind racing. Immediately, Ryoko appears where Aeka is lying and grabs her by the shirt collar, picking her up off the ground. Zapping Aeka multiple times, Ryoko then throws her forty feet away.
Tenchi stares at it all in shock. What’s happening?! This isn’t what I wanted!
As Aeka goes flying yet again, Ryoko flies up in the air and unleashes a huge volley of energy darts.
Tenchi winces as the darts explode along the ground, towards the point where Aeka has fallen. This has got to stop! I can’t let this continue, damnit! Tenchi sprints towards the fight, unaware that Yosho and Sasami are doing the same.
“Both of you! Stop it! Please!” Tenchi yells coming to a stop near Ryoko, who is still firing bolt after bolt at Aeka.
“Ryoko! Please stop! Why are you both fighting! Aeka, why did you ruin our house?” yells Sasami, crying as Aeka suddenly springs to her feet and powers up her shield again. Ryoko’s energy darts rebound against it, spattering into the ground around Aeka. She then makes a swinging motion with one arm, and a huge energy fist appears near Ryoko, flying towards her. Ryoko phase-shifts just in time, appearing next to Tenchi.
“Tenchi! Stay back!” She turns to look at him, her eyes ablaze.
Yosho, meanwhile, has run over to Aeka. “Aeka! Listen to me! Control yourself! Now, before you kill us all!” Aeka acts like she doesn’t hear him. She flies right past him, going for Ryoko. Tenchi yells in fright and leaps aside as what looks like a comet goes careening into Ryoko, who was preoccupied with telling Tenchi to run for it. Ryoko grunts in pain as she goes flying into the air. Aeka gets back on the ground and fires a huge blast of energy after Ryoko, narrowly missing Tenchi and Sasami. The blast carries Ryoko even further, causing her to go sailing headlong into a tree trunk. Then, she slides down to the ground, motionless.
“Ryoko! No!” yells Tenchi. He suddenly feels very empty inside. Aeka cackles madly and uses an uprooted tree to smash Ryoko’s still form. The ground vibrates, while the air resonates with the sound of a large tree slamming into the ground. After a lot of dust settles and the noise stops echoing, there is silence. Not a single animal is making noise. For seconds this continues, but then Ryo-ohki starts to howl in anguish. Aeka powers down and starts to dust herself off. Sasami starts to cry, and Noboyuki rushes over to try and comfort her. Yosho looks very upset; the sunshine on his glasses makes him look even more serious. Washu looks at Aeka, stricken.
“Rrrrrooooowwwww!!!!!” Ryo-ohki lets loose with a dreadful howl and starts to glow. As everyone watches in shock, Ryo-ohki’s fur starts to ripple wildly. A shocking white glow streaks along Ryo-ohki’s body, changing the fur that it touches from brown to blonde. As the fur seems to lengthen and alter its color, Ryo-ohki leaps into the air faster than the eye can follow. She opens her eyes, aglow with blue and green, and glares at Aeka. Her blonde fur waves back and forth, giving the illusion that Ryo-ohki is a yellow fireball. Ryo-ohki tilts her head back, opens her mouth and unleashes an ear-splitting yowl, spreading her arms wide as she does so, the noise echoing painfully all around. Aeka looks up at the glowing Cabbit in surprise, just as Ryo-ohki’s tail explodes into a large, bushy but spiky lump of fur. The cute little Cabbit that everyone loves and adores has now become Super Saiyan Ryo-ohki! Aeka opens her mouth in astonishment as the Super Saiyan charges towards her, howling furiously. At the last moment, she brings up her shield again, but Ryo-ohki is too strong. She blasts right through the energy shield and slams into Aeka’s chest, picking her up and carrying her high up into the sky. Ryo-ohki then grabs hold of Aeka’s shoulders, swings Aeka around 180º vertically, and then hurtles Aeka back towards the ground far below. As Aeka screams in terror, Ryo-ohki puffs up, her size rivaling that of a St. Bernard dog. Her fur seems to form splinters, and she then unleashes a storm of sharp, blonde-colored thorns from her fur. The thorns follow after Aeka, who is seconds from hitting the ground. Washu seizes the opportunity to attack and launches several energy spheres towards the plummeting princess. Aeka, knowing this could be the end, takes action. She creates a disruption in the air around her, slowing her fall, then lands on the ground and runs, powering up her shield yet again. The yellow thorns thud into the ground behind her, and the energy spheres dissipate against her shield. All of a sudden, Aeka collapses to the ground, too exhausted to run. Super Saiyan Ryo-ohki is busy powering up her only Lighthawk Wings attack, when she sees Aeka collapse on the ground. Thinking she’s dead, Ryo-ohki suddenly switches back to her normal form, looking thoroughly confused.
Tenchi now has no feeling in his legs. He falls down on his knees, too weak to stand. I knew this would happen. He thinks to himself bitterly. Tears start to stream down his face, and he dares not look at the place where Ryoko lies, for fear of losing control of himself. Staring at the charred earth beneath him, Tenchi hears someone approaching him. Soon, he sees Aeka’s slippers and the base of her robes from the top of his vision. She survived all that? Impossible! What about R…
“Lord Tenchi?” she says, concern filling her voice. “Are you alright?”
Tenchi doesn’t respond. His throat is dry and he is too stunned to speak anyway. He just stares at the blackened dirt, seemingly catatonic. Aeka crouches down in front of him and notices his tears. She gasps. “Oh my! Lord Tenchi, I…” she looks back at the uprooted tree. She stares at the large fallen tree, realizing what just occurred. Aeka’s face looks stunned and scared. “Did I…was that my…?” A couple seconds of silence pass. “I…I’m sorry!” Suddenly, Aeka puts her hands to her face and races off to the shrine, sobbing hysterically. Yosho follows after her, looking very weary but upset.
Washu suddenly becomes animated. She races over to the uprooted tree. “Ryoko! Ryoko, no! Don’t be dead! Ryoko! Please don’t be dead!” She grabs the tree and hoists it into the air, tossing it aside. Ryoko’s body is lying face down in the dirt, sunken right into it. Washu starts to cry. “Noooo!” She crouches and takes Ryoko’s wrist in her hands, looking for any sign of a pulse. After a couple of seconds, she drops Ryoko’s arm in defeat. “My baby…” she moans. Her body shudders as she cries.
Sasami is throwing a fit. Tears stream freely from her eyes as she yells in anguish. Noboyuki has his arms around her, patting her back. Suddenly, from the sky can be heard Tai-ohki, finally back from being hurtled into space. Ryo-ohki rushes over to greet her. She waves a paw up at the spaceship, meowing in greeting. The spaceship meows back. It morphs back into a Cabbit and rushes over to speak with Ryo-ohki. The two get locked in a noisy conversation, completely oblivious to the sad atmosphere.
To Tenchi, all the noise is blocked out. His ears are ringing, and his mind is reeling. Ryoko…Dead? Nothing…all gone… life ruined… no home...emptiness…anger? No…shock. What! Ryoko, no! He suddenly gets up off the ground, pumping his legs ferociously as he races over to where Ryoko lies. He pulls her out of the ground and lays her on her back. He shakes her shoulders, her head flopping back and forth. “Ryoko! Wake up! Please!” Washu puts a hand on Tenchi, and Tenchi glares at her. Washu shakes her head, not speaking a word. Tenchi ignores her and starts to do CPR on Ryoko. Exhaling, then pushing on her chest, trying to get her heart to work. “Come on! Damn you, come on!” He blows air into her again, and then resumes with the pumping. “Please Ryoko! Shit, don’t do this to me! Don’t you dare die on me now! Not when we just got together, damn you! Come on! Wake up already!” He blows air through her mouth again, but Ryoko does nothing. Her eyes are closed, and she isn’t breathing at all. Tenchi stops, sweating profusely. “No…” he moans. It’s all my fault. He eyes the nearby lake. Wait a minute! He rushes over and scoops some water into his hands, and then rushes back over to Ryoko, trying not to spill the water. He props the back of Ryoko’s head against one knee, and opens her mouth with one hand. With the other, he pours water into her mouth. Nothing happens. For a minute, he just stares at the pale face, confused. He suddenly stands up and starts to back away, shocked. He looks up at the sky and yells hoarsely, “Why?!?! Why did this have to happen?” Suddenly, Tenchi finds himself in a completely dark environment. He hears someone calling out for help. Ryoko! He strains his ears, and hears her calling to him. “Tenchi! There isn’t much time! Please…hurry!”

Part Two
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